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This was the furthest thing from the truth! What doesn't seem to match who you are? • Have Conversations – We frequently hear about the importance of networking when we’re looking for a job, Find someone you admire within your organization and ask them to be your mentor during your time on the job.
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One of the benefits from spiritual realization is a deeper sense of trust that life will work out and a greater plan is at work. This deeper sense of knowing typically results in less anxiety, less ego driven behavior, and a greater capacity to be present and listen. The most effective communication is based upon profound listening, rather than talking at someone.
The Ability To Express Feelings
It is important to have a level of emotional maturity that allows us to acknowledge and appropriately express feelings across an entire range of human experience. People work harder for someone when they are authentically valued and appreciated. Executives who are cold, distant, and emotionally disconnected may be missing an important element for effective leadership.
Emotional Intelligence
When we master ourselves, we increase the likelihood for success. It is difficult to be at our best when we remain unconscious and unaware. When we learn to manage our inner life, we can maximize our inner resources and learn to make better decisions and act with greater clarity, perception, and direction. Inner peace and clarity allow for greater focus. The need for emotional intelligence is even greater when life circumstances are uncertain and changing. It is natural to feel fear, anger, and confusion during difficult times. However, it is imperative to resolve and manage emotions so we can make good decisions and not become overwhelmed with confusion, uncertainty and doubt. A positive mind state and peace of mind creates a calm inner life that allows great access to inner wisdom and intuitive guidance.
3. SPIRITUAL CONSCIOUSNESS
One can actually be mentally gifted but have such a low emotional intelligence that he or she will do some pretty stupid things. Emotional intelligence is about being smart in how we manage our emotions. Some people think that in business we should not have any emotions. As long as we are breathing, that is probably not possible –– unless we are Mr. Spock. We all have emotional reactions to various situations. It is what we do with them that makes the difference. Emotional intelligence is the result of several factors: the awareness of feelings, the ability to express feelings, the ability to contain feelings, the ability to organize feelings, and the ability to resolve feelings. It is possible to be intellectually intelligent but not have an equal and corresponding emotional intelligence. Just because we have a good mind does not mean we have done any work on our emotional self. Emotional intelligence is something that can be developed and learned.
The Next Step: Beyond Financial Success
The Economics of Personal Development
Setting Goals from the Inside Out: A Zen Approach to Business
On Emotional Intelligence
Contact Information
Each one of us has a unique purpose. It is our challenge and responsibility to discover what it is. Once found, it becomes a guiding force that gives more meaning and value to our lives. Knowing this purpose results in an alignment with higher spiritual forces and deeper values that result in a depth of living –– not just for money, fame, and success,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but also for a deeper purpose that nourishes the soul and inspires us to help others.
Their research shows that executives who embrace a style and create a culture that values teaching, learning, positive rewards, personal development, and affiliation result in enhanced effectiveness and success, including management, and problem-solving effectiveness. When effective leader embraces these eight capacities, he or she is more likely to embody a leadership style that creates a high performance/functioning organization.
1. Self Confidence.
2. Emotional Intelligence,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
3. Spiritual Values.
4. Clearly Established Personal Identity
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5. Coachability,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
6,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Positive State of Mind.
7. Ability to Adjust.
8. Integrity.
Carl Jung coined the term “individuation” to describe the higher end of psychological maturity. He suggested that more mature individuals have progressed beyond their early childhood conditioning. Moreover, they are also able to separate from and transcend societal ideas, values, and pressures when those things are limiting, unhealthy, or non-productive. (Think outside of the box)
Self Confidence is huge. When we believe in ourselves we can accomplish great things, people will be attracted to us and will want to work with us. If we doubt ourselves and are hesitant when clear decisions need to be made,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], people will lose faith. A strong inspirational leader/executive needs to inspire others. There are various types of executives, those who are over controlling and act like managers to complete a job or task but do not create an integrated, high performance sustainable organization, those who intimate and create a fear based company, and those who lead and inspire others to accomplish great things. If you want a CEO who can inspire and have a positive impact on others in order to create long-term value, then he/she needs to believe in him/herself.
Coachability refers to our willingness to be open and receptive to new ideas, experiences, and information. Coaching requires a degree of curiosity and interest in personal development. It requires a commitment of time and energy. It demands a degree of humility that acknowledges that no matter how intelligent we are,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we might be able to learn something more.
A complete discussion on the Human Synergistics model is beyond the scope of this article. However, you can go to the Human Synergistics website for more information on their research. I have found it to be one of the best tools on the market for assessing, coaching, and training individuals and companies.
The Ability To Resolve Feelings
Emotional intelligence requires an inner life that is free from long-standing emotional conflicts. When we harbor old hurts, fears, or resentments, then it is very difficult — if not impossible —to fully live in the present. It is impossible to perform at our best if we are stewing over the past or worried about future events.
A CEO can limit himself if he doubts and loses faith in his own ability. Our ultimate capacity is often tested, and when we maintain a positive self-belief in our ability to succeed, we can tap a hidden, intuitive reserve. It is important to trust intuition, because it is often an internal gyroscope to keep us on course. Others may doubt us, but when we believe in the depth of our own ability, we will not lose faith and abandon our core beliefs. The heart knows what is right, and when we listen to our inner voice,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we can accomplish great things and survive the darkest times. Self-doubt will undermine us and rob us of the opportunity to succeed. Dick Fosbury, Olympic Gold Medal Winner and creator of the Fosbury Flop for high jump says it best. “If we have self-doubts when we’re down on the stadium in front of 80,000 people, we’re probably not going to succeed.”
By Ronald L Mann, Ph.D.
See all Articles by Ronald MannSee Ronald Mann's Expert PageGet Updates on Executive Coach and Executive CoachingGet Updates on Ronald Mann Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
Self-confidence is more than a belief. It is earned and grounded through hard work and obtained competency. We cannot bypass the process of becoming an expert and really knowing our field. Malcolm Gladwell, in Outliners, provides compelling information to suggest that it takes ten years and 10,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],000 hours to master one’s trade, whether it is in sports or business. There is also a deeper psychological aspect to self-confidence along with hard work and preparation. We must have a deep-seated sense of value and worth as an individual. We must have a sense of our own goodness and inner values that are grounded in the “right things” that inspire others and make a positive contribution to life. The type of messages we received as a child develops our sense of self. We internalize what was said and how we are treated. Our deeper sense of self evolves while we are growing up. If our parents speak to us or treat us in a manner that suggests we are not capable or do not deserve to be successful, then that is how we will feel as adults. It is, therefore, important to introspect and honestly assess the quality of our inner life. If there is an inner voice that is negative, undermining, and self-depreciating, then we need to heal that part of ourselves. A wounded CEO lacks a deeper presence that is needed to inspire confidence and loyalty.
The Ability To Organize Feelings
It is easy to get confused and jump from one solution to another or become influenced by outer forces. It is imperative to have some inner guidance system to keep us on course and help us create priorities with clear, precise, obtainable goals.
First of all, let’s remember that the culture of an organization evolves from the top. The nature and style of leadership determines how everyone will function in an organization. We are not just talking about ideas and philosophy. The state of Being of leadership does influence the entire organization. Consciousness is not an abstract concept. It is a real, tangible thing that has direct impact and influence. The state of consciousness of a CEO will determine how an organization will function. The leader at the top will determine what happens throughout the entire culture. If you want to capitalize on your investment, you need to be sure that your CEO has the knowledge and support to create a high performing company –– technical knowledge alone is not enough! Assessing the strength and capacity of your CEO should be part of your due diligence to verify and insure the ability of this individual to execute and create long-term value. Ongoing Executive Coaching also provides the necessary support to maximize sustainability.
There are Eight Essential Competencies that are important and interrelated for effective leadership. Each one affects the other and all together they result in a stronger, wiser, more powerful executive. They are:
It is very difficult, if not impossible, to see ourselves clearly without the benefit of a mirror. A good coach, teacher, or adviser offers us that mirror in order to speed up our progress and development. Knowing what the issues are for development is the biggest and most important part of change. We can’t change what we don’t know!
Great leaders inspire loyalty. People will follow you into battle if they know you care and they trust you. When people are aligned around a common cause, then they will go the extra mile. They will make personal sacrifices to achieve commonly shared goals. We see this in business, sports and war. A leader must be able to unit his or her “troops” to work together and stay committed for success and victory. Integrity stands out and shines when it is present. When it is absent, then words are empty and actions are questioned.
8. INTEGRITY
The Awareness Of Feelings
Self-knowledge allows us to overcome thoughts and emotions that could potentially inhibit our fullest expression and success. Problems arise in management styles and executive decisions when denial becomes the primary method to deal with unresolved personal issues.
The following articles can be found at my website. You might find them useful as part of this discussion.
SELF ASSESSMENT
Successful individuals learn from others and learn from their mistakes. If we think we know everything or can succeed without the benefit of coaching, we may be seriously limiting our potential success. If we think we can do it all by ourselves, we may be throwing away great resources that can speed up our learning.
6. POSITIVE STATE OF MIND
The ability to overcome fear can be a major issue in anyone’s life: fear of failure at work, in relationships, in business ventures, or on the field. The drama of life is always filled with challenges to stand up for what we believe. It has been said there that is no real courage without fear. Fear is a natural response when we feel threatened. It is how we deal with the fear that makes the difference, not whether or not we feel the fear. Fear can only be overcome by facing it head-on.
Change is a natural part of life. Our ability to adjust and adapt to new situations is vital to the ability to respond to change. The most adaptive response requires that we live in the moment and effectively interact with what is. If we get caught in responding to what we wish reality to be, rather than to what reality is, then we might find ourselves left behind. It is important to realize that success over time requires the ability to adapt to changing circumstances. Mental and emotional rigidity impairs us from adjusting to new and different situations. Our ability to adjust can determine how quickly we adapt to new circumstances. When the world is changing around us and we don’t change, we can be in serious trouble.
4. A CLEARLY ESTABLISHED PERSONAL IDENTITY BASED UPON A RECOGNIZED LIFE PURPOSE
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Self-confidence is also enhanced as we develop a real and tangible relationship with Spirit and feel that connection guiding and directing our life. Humility evolves from knowing that something greater is working from within. It is easier to maintain a degree of self-confidence when we know there is a greater purpose in life and there is a higher plan to everything. When we develop the intuitive capacity to feel the Divine working through us, it is possible to maintain a positive self-belief and stay on course, even when life becomes difficult. If a company has a CEO or any executive with holes in his or her self-confidence, then that company will be at risk.
Let’s now take a look at each quality in greater detail. It is important to note that most CEO’s portray themselves as having these traits or abilities. A good assessment is needed to discover what is really there beyond appearances.
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Integrity is not always an easy quality to develop and maintain. We usually get tested and can easily make bad decisions and go down the wrong path if we do not have a solid foundation in core values and guiding principles. When the goal is to only make money, then integrity becomes less important. However, if the goals include helping to make the world a better place, supporting the life and welfare of others, and a living a life in such a way that when we die, we can move on to the next world with a clear mind and heart, then integrity becomes a relevant issue.
There are different types of self-belief. One can be the result of real knowledge, which creates a deep inner strength and trust. The other can be the result of a narcissistic delusion that we are the greatest and beyond reproach. There are too many good examples of the latter and these types of CEOs fall from grace and damage their companies. All too often we find that powerful executives are often the most narcissistically troubled. A real, mature, healthy self-confidence comes from a deeper, more integrated sense of wisdom and competency, not from a braggadocios, overblown sense of one’s worth.
Meditation and contemplation are methods for spiritual deepening. Studies of Fortune 500 CEOs found that the top executives relied upon quiet time, moments of prolonged inner reflection (sounds like meditation to me), to help them make better decisions. The inner connection allowed them greater access to intuitive problem solving,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which resulted in clearer thinking and more effective decision-making. I have produced an excellent meditation CD, Inspiration for Meditation. Complete information about this program is on my website.
Those who think coaching is a waste of time or who think that nobody really has anything to offer are misunderstanding the potential in a coaching relationship. A good coaching will help us focus, deepen our understanding, stay accountable, and obtain stated goals in a timely manner. He or she will also uncover any hidden blocks we may have to achieving our best. He or she will empower us to be more effective and wise in all areas of our lives.
An important part of growing up is to learn to think independently of others, especially authority figures. The voice of wisdom is often different from the norm. New ideas and solutions are not typically generated from business as usual. Independent thinking and an ability to be emotionally secure allow for new possibilities. When we merely act as we are taught and believe what everyone else is saying, we may be limiting our growth and potential for more adaptive action. The wisest and more adaptive individuals have the inner strength and mental clarity to perceive what is right for them in the moment. They are not merely following old conditioning and blending in with convention.
7. ABILITY TO ADJUST
If you would like to discuss how I can help you and your company or learn more about the eight competencies, please contact me for a free consultation. I live in Phoenix, Arizona.
Now that you have invested in a new company, is the CEO doing what is necessary to maximize your investment? Success does not happen by accident. It takes a lot of hard work and a commitment to a set of core principles, which become a foundation and pathway during times of development, crises, and change. Technical knowledge is not enough to successfully lead a company. There is an additional skill set that is necessary. The information I am going to share is based upon over thirty years of work as a clinical psychologist, executive coach, and organizational consultant.
These eight qualities are not merely theoretical speculations about success. There is sound research by Human Synergistics.
Human Synergistics International’s research clearly shows that there is little organizational transformation without significant personal change at the senior leadership level. Transforming leadership is a critical prerequisite for organizational transformation.
The Ability To Contain Feelings
An emotionally mature individual does not act on every impulse that arises. We have to learn how to be smart about when to express what we feel.
Let’s be realistic here. There have been a lot of dishonest people who have made a lot of money. In fact, the way they made their money was a direct relationship to their level of dishonesty. The better they could lie and distort the truth,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the more money they made. Integrity is an important issue if you want your company and your professional life to last over time. Those who lie and lack honesty eventually pay the price, one way or the other. History shows us that a company built on decent values, provides a good product or service, and treats its employees with respect has a better chance to succeed in the long run.
A CEO with a spiritual life can be more positive, more inspiring, more present, and steadfast to a set of values and principles that will guide his or her organization through challenging times. Our ability to create and manifest goals and objectives is greatly enhanced through a conscious connection with our higher nature.
The ability to maintain a positive mental outlook is essential for success. It is especially critical if one is going to persevere during difficult times. When fear is running amok among the majority, and a doom-and-gloom mentality can be contagious. It is very important to have a solid inner core that is based upon sound principles that allow is to keep a positive outlook and see through the veil of darkness to the light at the end of the tunnel.
A positive mental outlook is essential for success and victory. A positive mental approach creates a strong flow of energy and dynamic willpower. Negative thinking deflates our ability to act, persevere under pressure, and remain psychologically and physically healthy. We know from watching sports that self-confidence is a magnet that draws success. We see it on the golf course when a player is putting well and everything seems to drop. Players report, “I knew it was going in!” Self-confidence and a positive mental state are interconnected.
2. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
On a spiritual note, it has been said that, “God helps those who help themselves.” This means we have to act and cannot sit back and hope someone else will solve our problems. When we are acting, unseen forces can be there to help us, lead us, to speak through our intuition, and to empower us for greater success. Inspired performance is just that: to affect, guide, or arouse by divine influence. When we know that divine influence is available, we do not feel alone in facing our most difficult challenges. Zack Johnson, the 2007 Master’s Champion, won on Easter Sunday. He reported that he felt the presence of Jesus walking with him step-by-step on every hole. Was this his imagination—or not? Those who have experienced this type of divine help think not! As a final thought, Jesus was there to help and inspire; Jesus did not hit the golf ball. Zach’s success was the result of individual talent and hard work as well as faith. We can accomplish great things when we believe. The body cannot accomplish what the mind believes to be impossible. Zach Johnson came down the stretch and beat the best golfer that the world may ever see, Tiger Woods. The fear of intimidation could have been enough to wipe him off the course.
1,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. SELF CONFIDENCE
A fundamental esoteric principle is, “Energy follows thought.” Therefore, what begins in the mind becomes the directing force for energy and eventually is expressed through action and behavior. A weak mind will undermine any great potential. A weak-minded individual will undermine the effectiveness of a group. It is easy to be negative, create doubt, and stop the progress into new territory. It is much easier to be negative than creative. It can take years to develop and create something, but it can be destroyed in an instant. Fear is often the underlying force. Effective leaders who are able to inspire others over the long run are positive and creative.
Jung suggests that in order to fully grow and mature into adulthood, we must break with the surrounding convention or wisdom and embrace our individual feelings and beliefs. The recognition of our own truth gives us power to think, feel,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and act as an individual and contribute from our unique sense of expression. Original thought, creative ideas, and leadership are most effective when the actions spring from an inner depth of authenticity. Our real power resides within an authentic self, and often it takes courage to stand up and fight for our right to exist. All too often, when we defer to outer authority as the true authority, we then find ourselves—individually and collectively as a society—being led down a wrong path.
If you would like to know how you rate along these various competencies, there is a self-assessment online at my website. Click Here Now.
This is a very useful concept that has been widely discussed. Daniel Goleman has written extensively on this topic and it is one of my chapters in Bouncing Back: How to Recover When Life Knocks You Down. I also have some blog posts and video discussions on this topic that can be found at [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] When we are highly stressed, strong emotional forces are put into play that oftentimes override the mind. Very smart people can make bad decisions and do impulsive things. When we are stressed and facing critical challenges, it is important to have all our resources at our disposal: good reality testing, emotional balance, and the ability to moderate strong, intense feelings.
Our inability to adjust to new and changing circumstances begins in our mind. We believe that we have the right way to do something and are determined to stay with our convictions. The wise individual will adjust his or her thinking when given new information. Other times, we are attached to our comfort zone. We are afraid to change and try new things because we are out of our comfort zone. We don’t know what the outcome will be and are afraid to try something new and find out. So we continue to do the same thing, hoping for a different result. We can become stuck in old and familiar patterns that are comfortable, even though they may be non-productive.
We live in a time that can benefit from enlightened action. Successful executives can excel with a steadfast approach that adheres to a set of core guiding principles and values that honor honesty, integrity, compassion, and wisdom. A strong spiritual life, based upon self-realization, can result in more enlightened action. Simply believing in something is not enough. A deeper realization with direct perception is needed for real transformation.
Change requires some mental work to reorganize our thinking and perceptions. We have to become accustomed to a new way of doing something or a new way of feeling. We have to be wiling to take a chance and trust the new approach. In essence, we have to be willing to make a mistake to find out if the new approach will work. Change sometimes requires us to develop a new sense of self. We might have to restructure our lives or our business. It is easier to just keep the same old behaviors, beliefs, and thought patterns.
5. COACHABILITY
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(November 18, 2000)
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I was grateful to escape my mother’s house, finally, and when Robert showed up I didn’t know how to tell him I was not the least bit excited to see him. He had done the hard work of looking me up and my best friend at the time could not understand why I was not enthusiastic to meet this man who had worked so hard to find me. I didn’t then know how to tell her why I felt as I did,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and met him on campus, welcoming him to my dorm room though the last thing on earth I wanted to do was sleep with him.
Of course, that was all that he wanted,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and I remember the joy with which he propelled me toward the bed. For me it was merely something to suffer through for a few minutes as I had suffered through rape at the hands of my older brother so many times as a child. This young man, like many equally untutored men of color raised in South Central Los Angeles, had no clue about the dynamics of abuse and trauma, so immediately accused me of seeing someone else when I was unresponsive (literally dry and disinterested) in bed. The thought was so preposterous that I quickly ended our tryst and escorted him to the door. I remember thinking how obtuse could he be not to know, understand or sense what I was really feeling?
I have long suspected that I willingly forgot people from my past. In at least one instance I am positive that a playwright I met while living in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, was in fact an old boyfriend I had known and interacted with (we never actually went out on a date) during my early twenties.
It was not until I watched the 60 Minutes story this past Sunday, March 18th,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 2012, that I realized I had written about a type of face-blindness in my first novel,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a senior project completed for my undergraduate degree in Comparative Literature at Occidental College. I remember quite clearly creating a character who grew up to become a villain because throughout his life, in the small, rural village in a fictional Latin American country in which he grew up, no one ever remembered his face.
Having endured physical and sexual abuse from my stepfather and my brothers in my own home as a child, I routinely avoided the prospect of dating African American men. Everyone knew I had a “serious white boy thang.”
What I do not want to fail to mention here is that I had had no recollection of this man, this playwright, upon initially meeting him. Despite the traumas I had endured in my twenties at the hands of the young man I met at the bus stop, I could have told you nothing more than that he was tall, Black,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and interested in me. Though we had had several intense and loving conversations over the phone,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I could not have identified him in a line-up if I’d tried.
Years later, when he showed up in Philadelphia, he probably wondered why I did not recognize him. Truth is,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I had wiped his face from my memory with as much permanence and force as my disinterest in him and his inability to see that and honor it had mustered. Thus, as the neurologists and neuroscientists investigate the phenomenon of face-blindness,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I sincerely hope that they will bring psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists into their research because I am quite sure that there are other people from my past who have reappeared in my life and wondered why on earth I had no recollection of whom they might have been.
He then called me at my father’s house a few weeks later to tell me that he had been wrongly arrested. A middle class girl who felt herself above dating the incarcerated, I no longer accepted his calls and did not see him again until he tracked me down during my undergraduate years at Oxy.
I remember meeting him on the bus one afternoon, and giving him my number. We spoke, mostly over the phone, and got together for a few groping sessions that I tried to pretend I enjoyed. While I appreciated the positive attention from a tall, handsome African American man and he certainly knew how to flatter a girl over the phone (having a way with words even then) he was not someone in whom I was interested. I faked it because I thought I had to.
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