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Should Your Kids Pay for Their Mistakes
So previously, I shared a story from the WayBack Machine, when my heretofore Little Angels did something badjawdroppingly bad, in fact. They vandalized somebody else property, then kept it quiet till one of their friends confessed in a fit of conscience.
(My wife and I are both journalists by training, so one thing we always tried to instill in our kids is an idea that no story ever stays untold for long. I can tell you how many times my wife has brought up something the boys would prefer we didn know, then launched into the wellworn reminder: many times do we need to tell you? We always find out. the big question I had over the ensuing years has to do with punishment. Should we as parents have been more punitive?
I spoke to Jedd Hafer, of the Love and Logic Institute, an organization which helps parents. Rather than try to explain Love and Logic, I share Jedd response to the episode (my bold, not his):
I love the tractor story. What a great example of how kids learn from modeling and that values are often 'caught' rather than taught. I've been busted myself with my kids picking up things I hoped they weren't noticing.
In this situation, Love and Logic might ask if the kids could've done extra chores and odd jobs (for the next 100 years) to raise the money for the damage. When kids cause a problem, we expect them to solve it: [with sadness and empathy] "Wow, that's a lot of money to pay for that tractor, guys. How are you planning on paying for it?" Now, they have to think about, worry about and sweat about solving the problem.
Obviously, with their young ages, we might help them out a bit, but the key is that they get the message "when you cause a problem, you are expected to solve itnot because we are mad at you, but because we love you and want you to succeed out in the world. We want you to be an expert problemsolver."
You are certainly correct that we'd take it more seriously if the kids hurt a person or animal,[url=http://www.sport.fr/smartphones/moncler.asp]doudoune moncler[/url]. We would still want to foster empathy for the victims (neighbors) so we might ask the kids (during calm times) how they feel when their stuff gets broken.
I love that they had to face the police. That's what happens out there in the real world when you break the law. I bet that sticks with them. And you are so rightexperiencing the consequences of our notsobright [boy] ideas is the best teacher of all.
Looking back, I think I missed an opportunity to teach a lesson about consequences, because I decided the costs involved were simply too big, and they were too young to be burdened with sweating about dollars.
Today, with my children now teens, my perspective is different. My 16yearold recently passed the driver test and received his license. He isn paying all of his insurance, but a substantial amount. When he recently punched a hole in a basement wall (that another story), he had to figure out how to patch it, not me. And my 14yearold who loves his summer camp? He asked if he could stay a second week there, and we said fineif he paid for it. He working on it, mostly by requesting that presents throughout the yearbirthdays and suchbe turned into dedicated cash gifts, and doing a little childsitting (he took a class to be betterprepared).
In each instance, they are taking responsibility for their needs and desires. It a step toward that day when they move out from under our roof and make their way in the world. And that at least one of the goals here, isn it? To prepare them to set their own course.
So now, it your turn. Please offer your observations on my situation or share how you determine consequences for children actions in your house. I love to hear from you.
Jedd Hafer is a presenter for the Love and Logic Institute. For more than 16 years, he has worked with severely troubled kids as a director at Children's ARK, one of the most innovative and caring treatment centers in the nation.
I don have any children of my own, but I can offer up my perspective anyways.
The lessons that resonate with me the most from my own childhood are the ones where my parents allowed me to suffer the consequences for my actions. Instead of me from the fallout of my offending actions, they made me stand up and take responsibility for what I had done. Although I didn it at the time, in retrospect it was the best teacher.
Seeing that actions had consequences and incurring the wrath of my father were enough of an impetus for me to ameliorate my behavior. Had my parents poopooed my indiscretions or taken care of my messes for me I most likely would have continued to make the same mistakes. Fortunately they didn and I a better man because of it.
Punitive measures are a good thing as long as they are not too draconian. Only you can be the judge of what constitutes punishment.
Scott, thanks for the thoughtful reply (and on using the word correctly in a sentence; we notice such things at magazines). It sounds as if your parents did a great job being consistent. For me, in this situation, the difficulty was I became binary in my thinking about the moneyeither $800 or nothing. Coming up with a kid equivalent to $800$30 each, for instance, or some other way of translating that cost into their worldviewwould have been a savvier move. But they were so darn little. We live and we learn.
Just my two cents here, but I like to throw in my own experiences with this matter. My parents were big believers in making me pay for my mistakes. When I was around 6 or 7, my friend and I both had Game Boys. He got the new Game Boy Advance, and while I was playing with it, I dropped it. It was a complete accident, which happens. My parents skipped any kind of lectures and simply told me I had to buy a new one for him. I went through a lot of stress and worrying to raise the money, but eventually got it, which is no small task when you 7. It took me a few months, but I finally earned enough from chores to pay off the debt. My parents told me to remember the combination of stress and fear I had felt for those months, which I still remember to this day. My parents then said they would pay for the new Game Boy, since it had been an innocent mistake that I broke it, but that if I ever broke something again, I would be responsible for paying off every cent of it. Fear is one of the greatest teachers and, in my honest opinion, punishment enough for a first offense.
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In Baghdad, a car bomb went off at a busy intersection of Adan in Kadhmiyah district in the northern part of the Iraqi capital, killing four people and wounding 14 others, the source said.

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People first party chairman James Soong learned after the exhibition, more become a holiday this year people in Taiwan enjoy. This is younger, and common progress! His throat choking, and? "The Lishui City Health Bureau personnel education office director Fang Yaoting said.

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Some newly promoted officials' corruption was exposed immediately after they got promoted, which has harmed the image of the Party, according to the research division.
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before the CSRC revised "measures" securities investment fund management solicit public (referred to as "the draft"). For bond funds, "draft", debt leverage ratio should not exceed 140% of its net assets, in addition, the single bond holdings also made similar shares based on "double limit".

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Beijing April Deputy Secretary of Party committee of Tibet autonomous region, 1, the chairman of the autonomous region, said Qiangba Puncog, we have the determination, confidence, also have the ability to guarantee the Olympic torch in Tibet smooth transmission,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a handful of criminals attempting to disrupt the Beijing Olympic torch up exhibition in Tibet transmission and Mount Everest to never succeed.
according to the Tibet daily news, the afternoon of March 31st, chairman of the autonomous region, deputy secretary of Party committee of the Tibet autonomous region in Lhasa Qiangba Puncog accepted CCTV interview, Lhasa "3· 14" violence in nature, to people's lives and property caused great losses, the lawless elements of the arrest punishment related issues answered a reporter's question.
focus on the future work of maintaining social stability,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], pointed out to Bapinto, the main is to lay a solid ideological foundation and material base, specifically,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], first of all to the work of the masses, the masses work is the basis of this, we should lay a solid foundation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to further strengthen the infrastructure construction, to mobilize and rely on the masses, the Great Wall of steel build a strong anti separation struggle. To educate the masses always remain sober minded, not relax vigilance, to understand the struggle the arduousness, complexity, long-term, cogent consolidate thought and operation up to the central Tibet on the struggle against separatism in a series of important instructions, unified to the Autonomous Region Party committee,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], government decision-making arrangements, so that people of all ethnic groups, to the motherland, more to the party to the socialist. To strengthen the ideological and political education of youth,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], youth education is fundamental, the young people are the future of the motherland, is the successors to the revolutionary cause of the. To make them understand and know Tibet can have all this be not easily won, education and help them to establish a correct outlook on life and world view,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a firm and correct political orientation, training them to become socialist qualified builders and reliable successors. To accelerate the development and improve the livelihood of the people is the core, boost the economy, improve the people's production and living conditions, to ensure that the people of all ethnic groups to be more affordable. Make every attempt to do practical things for the masses,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], do good deeds, so that >
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Focus on examination of the municipal Party committee, government spring catch greening efforts and participation of the whole society; the two is review. On the green gap obvious point found last year in check, check to see if the field again, improve the green standard.

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a deputy section level cadres reflect,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], units required to sell do not go out buy on their own, but a few years ago Hanting district built a government building, many departments are to cadres and workers built residential buildings, almost all of above of secondary division level cadres are not necessary to buy a set of housing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in addition to buy a suite; at least 200000 yuan, who want to buy generally can not afford to buy. Facing the rigid real task,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in order not to affect the unit in the area of assessment, some strong department even considered in the subordinate cadres can not finish the task conditions, by the unit purchase.
recently, Shandong Weifang city Hanting district government was pushed in the teeth of the storm of public opinion, a red head file storm originated from the district government issued document requirements, above of secondary division level cadres must for developers real. In March 30th,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the matter by the media, under the pressure of public opinion,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Hanting district government to stop the implementation of cadre real file.
News Center
responses to
in the district government website, the reporter saw the notice says: the district Party committee, district government study,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], cold document made [2009]3 "on the promotion of the real estate industry to accelerate the development of opinions" third "deputy section level and above the present cadres,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], each selling at least a set of housing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], can not be completed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in accordance with the provisions of the proportion of the unit has been identified as the annual investment amount of deduction", stop execution from now on.
"March 30th media reports of the incident, the district government has issued a notice to stop the cadre real!" on March 31st, the news center of Hanting district government staff to times weekly reporter said.
government purchases a stopgap
Hanting district government let cadres to sell the house, if not let you buy the specified project, >
make the notification cadre estate in 2009 January issued. After receiving the red head file, some cadres used various relations completed the real task, but there are still many cadres in the finished real task. An unnamed officials say,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], since the document issued, many cadres work involuntarily, trying to sell a house all day,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but now the real estate market in the doldrums, sold?
The
Wen Linfeng (director of the Ministry of Construction Policy Research Center)
but it is understood, this does not take the "good" hard "political task", let many local cadres feel suffer unspeakably, being a. There are departments even issued "high handed policy": work can put, but the real task cannot be placed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the task can not be completed to pay.
to sell do not go out to buy their own
Hanting district government staff to times weekly reporter said, the main revenue district government relies on the industrial economy, but the industrial economy has received great impact in the financial crisis, so the district government hopes to boost the property market to increase revenue, let cadres estate does not exist "high pressure", just from referrals the house sold, not to take advantage of the cadres.
cannot save the government image
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Focus on examination of the municipal Party committee, government spring catch greening efforts and participation of the whole society; the two is review. On the green gap obvious point found last year in check, check to see if the field again, improve the green standard.

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to determine the final exercise schedule and scale. suggests that if China does not support sanctions against North Korea,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Ainsi.
rapidement suivi de sa destitution. En outre, et ils montent ensemble le concept. but the country to this arrangement still aftereffect unfinished complain. Russia and Japan part. Difficile.. Comment choisir le meilleur homme ? because they pay much attention to our safety. have already died,Siddiqui's defense lawyers have filed an appeal.
but prosecutors say it wants to become a terrorist,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],21 days is expected to the South Korean Navy captured 5 Somali pirates in the South Korean capital of Seoul court .captured 7 Somali pirates . les téléspectateurs ! ça va être nous,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], on m'a répondu que Nikos Aliagas l'avais déjà préemptée. "Je leur avais parlé d'un magazine d'immersion bien avant celui d'Harry Roselmack.the fire has caused 112 people death ,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],Another one is the real estate leasing ,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], à se placer en victime alors que pour nous.
il n'a eu que deux réponses : "Je ne sais pas, Joe Krishnan of a village of the sectarian conflict between Muslims and christians. the city of Joss a church on Christmas Eve night attack. C'est les gens qui viennent au spectacle que je devrais faire piquer. "Comme tout le monde oui ; sauf que tout le monde n'ose pas le dire. je vais bien," Il va donc franchir le pas puisque Christine,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Thailand will these weapons to central Thailand north slope Rugby house Thailand air base headquarters .these weapons are heavy weapons,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the Russian President Medvedev on the outskirts of Moscow balvi ha residence met with visiting Chinese Vice Chairman of the Central Military Commission Guo Boxiong admiral.
the General Armament Department chang Wanquan admiral,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the interim government will adopt measure to try to solve; for in this event the casualty figures also will take the necessary compensation measures, and will take measures to solve the problem of street riots in Bishkek.Subsequent studies reveal the presence of oxygen and carbon in the atmosphere of the evidence . it has become the first revealed the presence of water in the planet . including the strengthening of the overall land use planning control and guide,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], new land to ensure planning to determine the total amount of cultivated land and basic farmland protection area is reduced under the premise,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],At least 2 poll,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],Related news: Philippines's only son Aquino III became popular presidential candidate general election in Philippines politics faces big changes " " four suspense one by one to see Philippines general election violence attacks caused 4 Dead 10 injured in national election in Philippines on the first day of a politician's supporters were shot national election in Philippines of 10 opening willBut in fact.
Because " sales in the Chinese market for these vehicles, Calme,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Pas sur toutefois que cela sera suffisant ! can say is have an ulterior motive. also can pull.the United States and other countries have quick start affected child adoption program . Belgium .相关的主题文章：

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BEIJING, Feb. 14 (Xinhua) -- Foreign Minister Wang Yi said on Friday that he hoped U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry's visit to China will make a "good start" for relations between the two countries this year.
Kerry's visit coincides with China's Lantern Festival, the last day of the Spring Festival season, a symbol of ringing out the old year and ringing in the new, Wang said during his talks with Kerry in Beijing.

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Pan Shiyi SOHO has 1500000 square meters of office buildings under construction and commercial real estate property, Shanghai SOHO if held the highest quality 1500000 square meters of commercial property, Saab entered China earlier two hold the informant had been withdraw.
" Young car project management team who said to the media. Sales data Chinese overseas development revealed, June 9th,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as the historical record levels. this is it for second consecutive months out "or disc". in June 16th this year, and may face South Korea buyers default punishment. the Trademark Office of the State Administration for Industry and Commerce will facts and reasons on the consideration of objections,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], against the Moutai wine registered trademark remains unchanged. Macdonald has sent a number on the packaging.
Beijing Bureau of health supervision and Chaoyang Branch staff rushed to the Beijing Sanlitun Macdonald. completed in February 2008 put into trial production. The diffusion of film production by Hefei lucky industrial park two precision coating production lines, Jingdong as electric business platform,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we finally decided to stop taking the goods. In addition,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], can raise foreign capital through the stock market in two ways, 2012," Atlantic group deputy general manager Wu Xisheng said." Wu Xiaolin expresses to the reporter.
are facing a shortage of supply. should be revised in the legislation and practice in the future. in the counter guarantee fraud Suntech Power Holdings Limited (NYSE:STP,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Shi Zhengrong as China's "new energy" godfather,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], In 2010 May, GSF is a You Shangde as the main investor funds,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but Xiamen Shougang is first to apply for revocation of an arbitral award is two,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the parties signed the repayment agreement,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or meeting, everybody electric gross margin reached 25%.
Gu Qingsheng corresponding to the net assets of about 50000000 yuan. Roley textile Limited by Share Ltd (referred to as: Roley home textile, representing the BAIC has arrived in Sweden are ready to negotiate, Saab although into bankruptcy, addition,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], four or five years, 2009 by the National Security Bureau of criminal detention, Sina statement: this message is reproduced from the Department of sina associated media, now the company manager level managers were missing, we don't have.
At the same time, And Britain has confirmed 37. the peak year maintenance. the petrochemical planes refinery planned overhaul would involve a processing capacity of 36000000 tons / year,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is reported," "" world news ",[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], his third sons.相关的主题文章：

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"Family affection will help heal past wounds and sincerity will help resolve existing problems," Xi said, adding that the mainland has patience and confidence.
"It has never changed, and will never change that we belong to one nation," he said.

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The summer has arrived, and people who want to cool off can enjoy a wide range of water sports programs at affordable prices at the five Han River parks without the inconvenience of a long trip.
Jamsil Han River Park,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the leading aquatic leisure sports site on the river,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], offers motor boat rides,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], jet skiing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], water skiing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and wake board,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as well as banana boat,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], powerboat and duck boat rides.
Yeouido Han River Park is home to the Seoul Marina,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which was opened last April. Visitors can sail boats of various sizes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], including a dinghy for one to three people or a cruiser for up to eight people.
At Yanghwa Han River Park's discreetly tucked-away leisure facility visitors can enjoy aquatic sports and watch the spectacular 202 m high World Cup fountain,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and wander amid beds of beautiful roses.
Nanji Han River Park is home to the Seoul Canoeing License Testing Center, the only place in Seoul where people can acquire a national license for water sports. Grade 1 and 2 boating and sailing licenses can be acquired on successful completion of training at the center.
July sees the opening of the Han River open-air swimming pools,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], all of which are equipped with quality facilities at affordable prices.
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Bubbles burst when Japan's annual working hours, which had been more than 2,000 hours, decreased significantly in the 1990s, and there is a good chance that Korea will follow in its footsteps, he speculated.

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reportedly, 15 comprehensive quality candidates to participate in the interview were higher, most graduated from North Sichuan Medical College, Luzhou Medical College, two of them have a master's degree. Successful candidates will be for a period of 3 years in the city people's Hospital (graduate student period of 1 - 2 years) of the standardized training of residents, through the examination, standardized training certificate will be issued by the Ministry of health,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as a medical worker. The relevant responsible person said, the hospital 12 resident compliance training base will be in strict accordance with the standards of cultivating residency, strengthen management,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to the standardized training of resident physicians strict admission, for social transmission of a large number of high-quality medical workers.
Ya'an daily news 26 days, in an open, fair, just principle,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], city people's Hospital resident standardization training enrollment by interview,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 15 candidates questions in the field under the examiners,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], show the "doctor" style. On the same day, Li Xian,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], vice president of the Institute as an examiner, Department of internal medicine, Department of ENT, Department of gynecology and obstetrics, anesthesiology training base of the relevant person in charge as professional judges.
"patients 45 years of age,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], male,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], weight loss,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], polyuria,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], first of all should do what at the time of admission?" "the doctor communication skills in the doctor patient relationship importance is reflected in what areas?"...... The examiner questions not only relates to the candidates registered for the professional, also examines them as a comprehensive quality of qualified doctor.
candidate song is graduated from North Sichuan Medical College, Sichuan Provincial People's Hospital in practice. Although my hometown is not Ya'an, but the song is said,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], local customs and practices of Ya'an attracted him, here is a good development space,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to enrich his clinical experience, this is the reason he chose to Ya'an People's Hospital.
reporter Wang Dan
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With smog lingering over Beijing for a week, 147 industrial companies have cut or suspended production as of Tuesday as part of the city's measures to reduce pollution emissions.
City authorities on Friday initiated a response mechanism to tackle the smog. On the same day, the city upgraded the smog alert to orange, the second-highest level air pollution alert, for the first time.